I deleted my last blog, because I didn't like the negativity...I've decided with 2010, I will be making some changes in my life. I have been through so many trials and tribulations over the past year...not all of them have been the best, but they've made me who I am now...who I will be in 2010. So here's to a new positive spin on my life...here's to a fabulous 2010!
When my life suddenly and drastically changed 2 1/2 weeks ago, I didn't know where to go...what to do....how to handle the sudden changes. Then I realized this was exactly where I needed to be. I had planned on changing my entire life, uprooting my house and home to move somewhere with a man I thought I wanted to spend my life with. I found out we weren't meant to be together BEFORE I sold my house...BEFORE I moved across the country...BEFORE I uprooted my entire life. This was meant to happen, because now I am still me...I am still in my house, in my fabulous job, where I'm meant to be. Had any of this happened after I changed my entire life, I would be stuck in a bad relationship in a city where I knew nobody...I'm so happy this all happened now. Because if I was able to fall in love and trust a man who wasn't right for me, then think of how beautiful it will be when I fall in love and trust the man who is right for me. I found this quote that suits me to a T right now...
Watching you walk out of my life hasn't made me bitter or cynical about love, but rather, it has shown me that if I wanted so badly to be with the wrong person, how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.
This quote is so true...I thought I wanted to be with Lee for the rest of my life. And I fought to make things better when he wasn't fighting for me. And if I wanted so badly to be with him, so obviously the wrong person, I can't imagine what it will be like when I find the right man. My dad told me when it's real, true love, it isn't work...being with Lee was always work. I thought I could be myself around him, but in reality, I had to change who I was so I didn't make him angry. What kind of relationship is that? I guess it's true that love really is blind...as I said above, I'm so happy it ended now...b/c I honestly don't know what would've happened had I moved to Kansas City, MO for him. My whole life would be a huge mess...
So yes, I am looking at this whole situation positively. If I thought Lee was the person I was supposed to be with, I can only imagine what it will be like when I actually find the man I'm supposed to be with. I know I sound like I'm living in a fairy tale or hoping for something more, but I'm thinking positively. I hope there is something more out there for me...there has to be. Because I deserve a fabulous man who will treat me, my family, and my friends with respect, honor, integrity, honesty, and trust. For now, I will be me...I will just be me.
Thank you to my wonderful friends and family for their never-ending support through such a difficult time in my life. I'm keeping my head up and taking it one day at a time...b/c there's nothing else I can do for now :)
New year, new me....new beginnings.
Quote of the day ~ "If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree." ~Jim Rohn
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