So I've come to the realization a lot of things happen that I have absolutely no idea why they happen...I focus too much on these things and over-think the whys of them all. It occurred to me earlier today that I have absolutely no control over any of these things. So with that being said, I shouldn't focus so much on why these things happen...I should focus on learning from them and becoming a stronger, better person. We all get to certain areas in our lives by the decisions we make...yes, God has our lives planned long before we are born, but we ultimately make the decisions that put us where we are in life. I used to pride myself on making the right decisions to put me where I am in life...yet, I continually find myself in difficult situations wondering how I got here. This, in the end, resulted from me making the wrong decisions in the wrong situations. But instead of kicking myself for making the wrong decisions, I've decided to focus on how I can learn from my mistakes and make the right decisions the next time. My biggest mistake, and not that it's a mistake, is that I trust too easily...I've been burned so many times b/c of this trust, yet I continue to trust people. This ultimately leads to people taking advantage of that trust. One of my friends told me today that I'm a nice person who believes the best in people...I politely told him that was a nice way of saying I'm naive. Sadly, I think he was right. I never thought I was naive, but looking back on certain situations, I realized I kind of am. I do believe the best in people...I believe people are ultimately good in nature. Yet the majority of the time, people are not good...I wouldn't have a job if that weren't the case. Yet I somehow manage to find the bad in most people I run across.
So the lesson learned from this whole experience is that I'll trust people but I won't put my full heart in it until I am certain the trust is there. But the second lesson I learned is that if you don't risk your heart and trust in love, then you'll live your life alone. Each experience I've lived through has taught me what I want in a relationship and a man, as well as what I don't want. So I've learned a lot...I've made a lot of decisions that haven't turned out to be the right ones. But they've led me to where I am in life...and I have an amazing life. There's no doubt about that.
So with that being said, I'll take my lessons learned from this experience and become a stronger woman. I'll stop over-analyzing every situation and I'll just live my life...I'll have fun and make the right decisions for me, not for anyone else. I'm ready to live life and put my best foot forward in every situation :) I'm ready to fall in love with life again! It's about time I do :)
Quote of the day ~ "You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough."
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
It's been awhile...
So the last time I posted was in September, which seems like a lifetime ago. I'll just start from there and catch up to today. I ended up straining my knee, so I was unable to run the last 26 mile training run. However, I did run the marathon on October 31st. It was amazing...my official time was 5:30:27. I wanted to run it in 5 hours, but I'm happy I was able to complete it...I was always told I wouldn't be able to b/c of my knee problems and my asthma. So I proved everyone wrong, including myself. I didn't know if I wanted to run another one, but now I'm itching for another one...I won't be able to run one this year, but I will next year....I plan on running another one and beating my previous time.
The interesting part of the marathon was that I got on a plane the next day for a 6 month deployment to Kuwait. I had two weeks notice I was going, although I volunteered to go. So before I knew it, I was in another country across the world. It was an amazing experience. I learned a lot about myself and my job and had a great time. I was in the office I worked for by myself for the first 3.5 months...at first, I was incredibly overwhelmed, but after a couple weeks, I realized I was able to do what I needed to do while getting everything done in a timely manner.
In January 2011, I came home on R&R b/c my lil Raf was doing very poorly. He had been in the emergency vet three times since Christmas and was progressively getting worse. When I got home, I knew he wasn't the same dog...he gave me lots of lovin' but he could hardly stand on his own, let alone walk or go up and down stairs. He was a fighter, and I knew he would've kept fighting...but it was his time. He deserved to be in a better place. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but I'm glad he's no longer in pain. We got the results back from his biopsy and he did have Pug Dog Encephalitis...it was labeled "very severe." So it was definitely progressively getting worse.
I was back in Kuwait in February and the rest of the time flew by. Before I knew it, I was in April and my tour was coming to an end. It was weird b/c I still felt like I'd just gotten there. But May 1st finally arrived and I was on a plane back home. So six months of my life was spent in Kuwait...but it was a great experience and a huge learning experience. So now I'm back to work and back in VA. And that catches me up :)
I'll tell you what though...getting back into the every day groove has been interesting. I had such a demanding schedule in Kuwait, but it was also ever-changing, so it was a go-with-the-flow type of thing. My schedule here is a little different...for the most part, I can plan everything out a few days in advance. But I still haven't found my groove yet...I suppose it will take a little time. I've only been home for 3 weeks, so I'll be patient and just go forward with each day. What else can I do, right? :)
But life is good....I've made some life-changing decisions and am in a much better place now than I was before I left. I know who I am and what I want in life...and most importantly, I know what I have to do to get it. So watch out b/c here I am :)
Quote of the day ~ "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
The interesting part of the marathon was that I got on a plane the next day for a 6 month deployment to Kuwait. I had two weeks notice I was going, although I volunteered to go. So before I knew it, I was in another country across the world. It was an amazing experience. I learned a lot about myself and my job and had a great time. I was in the office I worked for by myself for the first 3.5 months...at first, I was incredibly overwhelmed, but after a couple weeks, I realized I was able to do what I needed to do while getting everything done in a timely manner.
In January 2011, I came home on R&R b/c my lil Raf was doing very poorly. He had been in the emergency vet three times since Christmas and was progressively getting worse. When I got home, I knew he wasn't the same dog...he gave me lots of lovin' but he could hardly stand on his own, let alone walk or go up and down stairs. He was a fighter, and I knew he would've kept fighting...but it was his time. He deserved to be in a better place. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make, but I'm glad he's no longer in pain. We got the results back from his biopsy and he did have Pug Dog Encephalitis...it was labeled "very severe." So it was definitely progressively getting worse.
I was back in Kuwait in February and the rest of the time flew by. Before I knew it, I was in April and my tour was coming to an end. It was weird b/c I still felt like I'd just gotten there. But May 1st finally arrived and I was on a plane back home. So six months of my life was spent in Kuwait...but it was a great experience and a huge learning experience. So now I'm back to work and back in VA. And that catches me up :)
I'll tell you what though...getting back into the every day groove has been interesting. I had such a demanding schedule in Kuwait, but it was also ever-changing, so it was a go-with-the-flow type of thing. My schedule here is a little different...for the most part, I can plan everything out a few days in advance. But I still haven't found my groove yet...I suppose it will take a little time. I've only been home for 3 weeks, so I'll be patient and just go forward with each day. What else can I do, right? :)
But life is good....I've made some life-changing decisions and am in a much better place now than I was before I left. I know who I am and what I want in life...and most importantly, I know what I have to do to get it. So watch out b/c here I am :)
Quote of the day ~ "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
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