Muddy Waters

So I've come to the realization a lot of things happen that I have absolutely no idea why they happen...I focus too much on these things and over-think the whys of them all. It occurred to me earlier today that I have absolutely no control over any of these things. So with that being said, I shouldn't focus so much on why these things happen...I should focus on learning from them and becoming a stronger, better person. We all get to certain areas in our lives by the decisions we make...yes, God has our lives planned long before we are born, but we ultimately make the decisions that put us where we are in life. I used to pride myself on making the right decisions to put me where I am in life...yet, I continually find myself in difficult situations wondering how I got here. This, in the end, resulted from me making the wrong decisions in the wrong situations. But instead of kicking myself for making the wrong decisions, I've decided to focus on how I can learn from my mistakes and make the right decisions the next time. My biggest mistake, and not that it's a mistake, is that I trust too easily...I've been burned so many times b/c of this trust, yet I continue to trust people. This ultimately leads to people taking advantage of that trust. One of my friends told me today that I'm a nice person who believes the best in people...I politely told him that was a nice way of saying I'm naive. Sadly, I think he was right. I never thought I was naive, but looking back on certain situations, I realized I kind of am. I do believe the best in people...I believe people are ultimately good in nature. Yet the majority of the time, people are not good...I wouldn't have a job if that weren't the case. Yet I somehow manage to find the bad in most people I run across.

So the lesson learned from this whole experience is that I'll trust people but I won't put my full heart in it until I am certain the trust is there. But the second lesson I learned is that if you don't risk your heart and trust in love, then you'll live your life alone. Each experience I've lived through has taught me what I want in a relationship and a man, as well as what I don't want. So I've learned a lot...I've made a lot of decisions that haven't turned out to be the right ones. But they've led me to where I am in life...and I have an amazing life. There's no doubt about that.

So with that being said, I'll take my lessons learned from this experience and become a stronger woman. I'll stop over-analyzing every situation and I'll just live my life...I'll have fun and make the right decisions for me, not for anyone else. I'm ready to live life and put my best foot forward in every situation :) I'm ready to fall in love with life again! It's about time I do :)


Quote of the day ~ "You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough."